If It Didn't Suck....

I was in the library and picked up a comply of an Idiot’s Guide to Divorce. I took it off of the shelf and sat down, by the window. The huge bay windows of the Bristol Library look out over a river. It is an awesome view, and in cooler weather I would go out and sit on a bench and read by the water. Getting back to my selection, it was interesting, and I thumbed through it for a few moments and found that it would probably be a good book…for someone else.

One of the things I know about the untimely demise of my martial state was that it was in critical and held on for dear life for far too long. With that said, there should be a book called an Idiots Guide to Fixing or Fleeing a Toxic Marriage. Maybe I should write it, but do not really have anything new to say other than the fact that none of my friends liked her, she was a bit mean, and as soon as we were married the love, warmth, communication and sex dwindled down, the spigot rusted shut, and we lived as two strangers for nearly three years.
Complacency is the mother of all clusterfucks as was the case with my marriage DOA before the honeymoon. We never had sex on our marriage night. Nor did we on any holiday including our anniversary, now even couples who stop having sex have it on their anniversary. We would have relations once in a while. We would talk once in a while. We would even do something once in a while. We would argue regularly, be verbally abusive regularly and ignore one another without fail. I wanted to change many tings, like eating meals together. I wanted to, she didn’t. Going out. I wanted to she didn’t. Showing affection. I wanted to…well you get the idea. A few of her major complaints about me were that I was too sappy, too romantic and emotionally needy. All that I did to be accused of all of those things was to want my wife to be my wife, and my marriage to be just that; a marriage. It became easy not to argue. It became easy to be left alone, and just go with the white noise din of complacency.

The catharsis came on June 12th. Certain events led to a tumultuous crescendo of emotional abuse and manipulation on her part. She pushed me to the edge and I decided it was time to push back……