Sitting here in the library typing and listening to the Ms. Saigon Soundtrack and looking out at the slowly undulating waters and the occasional speedboat slicing through its serenity I wonder what would life be like if I had one. Today like all summer I went out, (skipped the gym today but might go for some well needed cardio
later) saw a movie, and found an open library where I browsed books, dvds
and logged hours on the Internet
I guess many men my age have children, or least a semblance of a real marriage
, and future plans. While I have future plans it seems that the holding patterns in my life are endless, and the times where I am living go by with the swiftness of the speedboat that just went by.
Sun and Moon is playing now, and I wonder what love like that feels like. Or if I will ever know it.
Sorry to wax melodramatic, I know that the immortal song better alone than unhappy is true. So I will be alone, for a while, but I know
myself for some 36 years now and I get along with the face in the mirror, though he looks like a knob with no facial hair, and I am content to reacquaint
myself with myself at least for a short while.
. Out of boredom today I shaved my beard. Now I have a face as smooth as a baby's bottom. I want to grow it back now immediately but will leave it off at least until I am moved out of the house I shared with my wife for the time we were together. I was going to shave it off when the divorce was final as a sort of cleansing, or I don't really know, had it for about 11 years and decided a change was in order. I wish I can shed weight as easily as I did the facial hair, seems to be at a holding pattern for the time being, though I am still losing inches, my belt that used to go to the second
notch now closes on the last notch and is still a bit loose. So there is some positive progress. Though I don't know about my face. Not seeing it in the mirror I barely recognize myself. I look younger and well different. Then again, I am different, so whatever.
anyway happy Columbus