Monday, January 28, 2008

Brevity is the Soul of Insantiy.

Brevity is the soul of wit. This is something I have believed for a long time. In my summations when responding to something, in writing papers in college. I am always succinct. However, how brief can you be? While trying to take a proactive stance with my writing I was investigating some contest sites. Nothing too extreme, just a contest or two to get my feet wet. Along with a fee, which is nominal, these contests have word count restrictions. I thought the 3000 word count was bad, but then I came across one that was a mere 1500 words. Now if I was charged with creating a memoir or piece of writing to adhere to that I may or may not be able to pull it off. If it were a paper for college I would definitely be able to pull of the meg ear word count.

This is not the case with my writing. Short stories, fine, memoirs, well not so fine. One of my pieces is an elegant 20,000 words; a personal novella. That is, I will admit long, but not in the contest of a body of work. My shortest piece is roughly 3500 words, which would mean some stream lining for one of the contests. The 1500 word contest, well I would have to cannibalize vignettes from my longer pieces for that. Oh well, time to get started......

Friday, January 18, 2008

Alex The White Castle Eating Champ...Well, Almost

For some reason I was ruminating on white castle burgers. I sort of have a love hate relationship with them. I used to love them, they hated me. Then I hated them for hating me, then I had the craving, and well, time will tell if she was indeed a scorned lover or not, but this is not about me, no, this is about this guy Alex, and his crew.

A new situation in my life brought me to White Castle, I had just come from a meetup. Which I guess you can learn more about at if you'd like. And the craving hit me, so I went out of my way to get satiated.

The drive through line spanned the length of the parking lot so I felt I was better off just going inside. Wrong. After Alex and his crew ordered, I was next, and after we ordered we all waited and waited and...well you get the picture. Alex and his crew were actually a decent group of guys, or they were just fueling up for a night of revelry, I cannot be sure, though after what I witnessed, perhaps, Alex would be out of commission for a while.

After numbers were called, and burgers served, Alex comes back with a 30 pack box and sets it down on the table. His crew stared at him in disbelief, and proceeded to take out their phones and take pictures.

"Yo, I'm gonna put this shit on myspace!"
"Fuck that straight to youtube baby."
Alex began eating. Halfway through my food two teen couples say at the table between me and them. They were looking on, as was I but without no real curiosity until the bet.
"Yo I bet you can't eat all these in 15 minutes."
Offers were bandied about and it was settled that one of them would give him all the money in his pocket. After it was established that it was a fairly significant amount, the bet began. Serious eating took place. The couples, began timing them and talking in Spanish, all I made out was the words for "thirty hamburgers" in Spanish.

At burger 16, he looked like he was having some trouble, after conferring about the time he asked for a break and walked outside for a moment. When he came back he polished off a few more, and said he needed to go to the bathroom, another friend of his said someone would have to go in with him to make sure he didn't puke. Alex declined and polished off 4 more burgers. Time was running out. He got up to take another break.

"Yo bro, you asshole is gonna be burning like mother fucker for like a month." Laughter broke all around. One of his friends looked over at me. "You watching this shit too?" I nodded.

"You gonna see history in the making, he gonna eat all these shits or puke all over the table."

Alex got back to business. Another one of his friends were staking the empty burger boxes on the window sill making a greasy cardboard pyramid. Yet another took a few pictures of his handiwork.

"Stop dribbling the damn onions."

"Yo the pickles count do you better eat those."

At burger 24 time was running out, he was given 2 more minutes.

"Why don't you take two and squish em together," offered another cohort. Alex then dumped out the rest and managed to eat half of two burgers that had been mangled together in his fist. Time was up.

The couples got up and were disappointed he didn't do it. "Shit we just wasted our time here," one of the young ladies belched out as they left. They also said that they would look for the pictures on myspace.

Alex's friend offered to pay for just the burgers if he ate the rest, and he said he could not do it. Quiting just 4 1/2 burgers of his goal. His friend looked at me and said, "you almost saw history in the making."

"Better luck next time." I said and left.

As I pulled out of the parking lot, I witnessed Alex and his crew leaving white castle. Most of them were limber and agile and looked refreshed. Alex ambled along like a wounded panda, defeated, but not beaten. I know in my heart, that next time, and somewhere on youtube and myspace, I will see him victorious.

RIP Bern

On Sunday the 13th, a former colleague of mine had passed away. She had been battling an illness that ravaged her body but not her spirit. Bern, short for Bernadette was a spitfire of a woman. She was loud, brash, outspoken, sarcastic, acerbic and always told it like it was. At the same time she was all of these things she was warm, kind,funny, friendly, honest, and basically helped keep the school running. Though I left the school a while back I can still see her there in the morning standing by the window puffing away at the very thing that helped take her from this world. Yes, smoking wasn't allowed in the building, but she didn't care. That is what made her the person she was, and that individuality and strength of spirit never left her. She will be missed.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Day Of The Kings. AKA My Birthday

Off to a new year, but same old blogging habits. Oh well, I did not make a resolution so I don't feel the least bit bad about my delay. LOL This is my birthday blog.

You often hear about a King without a crown, but there I was sitting at the end of a long table, which seated 14 in total, with a garish and ornate golden colored plastic and bejeweled crown. What was missing was a queen. But Maurice was at my side, as always and, well he is as close to a queen as it gets so I guess the setting was complete. I had the jester, ala a Gallagher look a-like and various members of my court, and stretched before us was a meal fit for a king. Or three, since it was the day of the kings that we are talking about. Panicos, not the fancy restaurant, but the pizzeria restaurant located directly across from the main one is right next door to the Stress Factory in New Brunswick NJ. The food was excellent, plentiful and nicely priced. Not that a king pays on his day, but that is another story.

This was similar picture that occurs throughout the year when "my family" celebrates an individuals birthday. The only shortcoming of such things is that all parts of conversations cannot be heard. One was that someone who has newly returned to our family had made an announcement or her impending nuptials. Or rather her betrothal, or rather an engagement. I gathered as much by seeing the ring and seeing congratulatory hugs and the like. This engagement comes from the same man, who in a fit of romantic and lustful fervor, through her over his shoulder to spirit her away into the boudoir, only to throw her up, a few inches too high, into a ceiling fan. Thus killing any romance for the evening. Let us hope, that when they are married that he doesn't kill her carrying her over the threshold.

I deviated from the birthday plans by suggesting a comedy club after dinner, instead of the usual movie. The comedians were funny, I even wore my crown at the table in the club, so when birthdays were announced no one doubted the fact that I was celebrating something, it was either that or I rode there on the short bus. The evening was great all around. Not to mention I got some cool shit too. LOL

Until Next Time

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

First thoughts on 2008

One of the things that I hope will carry on throughout 08 and beyond is positivity. While that goes against the grain of this blog, do not fear there will be times, if it didn't suck times, as there are in all our lives. Nevertheless, since I have read the Secret, I am more conscious of being positive, or striving to be. No, I am not gonna tell you what it is, its really simple, read it or ask someone. Anyway, I am getting off to a good start to what I know is going to be a good year, peace and love and remember to never stop laughing.

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