If It Didn't Suck....

Last time we touched was at the beginning for the year
& now Christmas has passed by
& how our lives have changed
& I’ve never felt more alone than I did
lying beside you in the dark
wondering what happened & why we don’t touch…
Dying to know if it could be saved
Or I our relationship perished somewhere
Trying to staple a severed limb back on
It was no use because the damage was too severe
Crying is a futile and useless thing…it is what it is
I should have realized it sooner….

Last time we touched we were married strangers unable to look one another in the eye
In the heart
In the soul
All barren and hopeless
Shattered lives left unmended so long, things left unsaid building to a point where the dam flooded
Tattereed & torn for so long I had to be the stronger
One and halfway between then and now I realized non of it
Mattered anymore if it ever did & said goodbye
Metaphorically and litterelaly and legally. Our future
Splattereed on the windshield of life

Last time we made love I cannot remember the lie
Or the night
But now, a year later, a year w/o touch w/o congress
I am happy because I am free
& left to be able to find something I deserve
someone I deserve
Someone far better than you could have ever aspired to be….

Last time we touched is a distant memory as are the feelings I once had